Disco Duck My Disco Homley :
by NogeiloGirl
Summary: The Hardy boys get entered into a dance contest, by none other than their friends and wrestlers: the Chris's, but when one of the Hardys gets food poisoning, who will take his place?


All of the people in this story are owned by Vince McMahon and the WWF, except for Melanie.  
  
In this story, Melanie is neither married nor pregnant.  
  
If you would like to use my story, please ask me first.  
  
Please review, I love feedback! Constructive criticism is fine, but no flames please.  
  
Parts of this story do flow off of my ongoing Hardy Boys series, including the characters, but this is not a follow-up to my Hardy series. Just because it's too short:) No seriously, this is a stand alone story, kind of a romance/parody/humor. Look for some of the events that happen in this story to be in the sequel/sequels.   
  
"Saturday Night Fever" is not owned by me, but by Paramount Pictures. Obivously, John Travolta is not mine either. :)  
  
American Bandstand is not mine either, but I'm not sure who/what has the rights to it.  
  
The following songs are not owned by me, and I'm not sure who still has the rights to them:  
1. Stayin Alive  
2. Dancing Queen  
3. Disco Duck  
4. That's the Way I like it  
  
Just for the heck of it, I love the song, Funkytown, even though I didn't use it in my story.  
I don't know who owns that song either:)  
  
Disco Duck   
  
Matt and Jeff practically flew backstage after an adrenaline rush match against William Regal and Stone Cold Steve Austin.   
"You guys did it, I'm so proud of you!" Amy cried, throwing her arms around the brothers' necks.  
"So are we," the Chris's said, walking through the locker room doors. "Now, we have a little surprise for you." Barely surpressing grins, Chris B. and Chris J. handed Matt, Jeff and Amy four tickets.   
"What are these? Wait a second, you got us tickets to a disco concert?" Matt asked in confusion.   
"Even better," Chris Jericho snickered.   
"Wait a second guys, take a closer look at these tickets, they're for a disco dance contest," Amy said, looking up at the two Chris's.   
"What, you entered us in a dance contest!" Jeff exclaimed. "Cool! I get to show off my funky, slick moves."   
"Whatever, dancing fool," Matt said with a roll of his eyes, "but you forget, that I don't "get down" as much as you do, and I loathe disco," Matt said, glaring darkly at Chris J. and Chris B.   
"We know, that's why Chris here, came up with it," Benoit said, grinning slyly as he patted Chris J. on the back. "We thought it would be interesting."  
"Well, you know what they say, this one's going to come back and bite you in the rear," Matt warned the Chris's. "Besides, why on earth did you get one for Amy, she's kind of large to be out there dancing don't ya think."   
"Unh!" Amy hit Matt on the arm.   
"Hey," he whined, "it's true."  
The Chris's rolled their eyes, "It's not for Amy, do you think we would enter a 200 pound pregnant woman in a dance contest," Chris stated sarcastically. Amy began to incessantly hit him on the chest and arms.   
"Hey, cut it out!" Chris J. defended himself.   
"Well, wait until your wife gets pregnant and has children," Amy shot back, crossing her arms over her ever expanding belly.   
"Already did, and fortunately she lost all that insane amount of weight she gained," Chris J. said with a roll of his eyes.   
Amy drew her arm back, "So help me, I going to beat the living"...  
"Calm down sweetie, I don't want you hurting yourself or the baby," Matt admonished her gently.   
Putting his arm around her shoulders, Matt led Amy away.  
Chris J. actually shrank back in fear.   
"You can stand up to your full height now Chris," Jeff said non-chalantly.   
"How do you- is she always like that?" Chris asked, wide-eyed.  
Jeff nodded, "If you thought Jess was bad, Amy has mood swings like a pendulum. One minute she'll be smiling at ya, the next she'll beat the stuffing out of ya."   
"Oh goody, so I have something to look forward to. Once she's no longer pregnant, she can beat the stuffing out of me when she's of sound mind," Chris J. quipped.  
"Anyway, we weren't talking about having Amy be in the contest, we were thinking maybe having Nora as your dance partner Jeff," Chris B. stated.  
"Hey, that's a good idea," Jeff responded with a smile.   
"What's a good idea?" Matt asked, walking towards them.  
"Oh, so you locked Cujo up eh?" Benoit asked with a toothy grin.  
"Watch it Chris, or I'll knock out another one of your teeth!" Matt warned.  
Chris raised his hands in surrender, "You know Chris and I are just kidding," Chris B. defensively.   
"I know but the jokes are getting stale," Matt said wearily.   
Chris J. looked at him in alarm, "Are you and Amy okay?"   
"We're good, Amy is just exhausted. She's six months pregnant. I've told her to stop coming to our matches, but she won't listen."  
"Didn't I tell ya she'd never listen to you," Chris J. joked. "Hey, how long have you guys been married for now?"  
"Seven months," Matt replied.  
"Ooh, you guys didn't waste any time did ya?" Chris said with a smirk.   
"Irvine, how badly do you want to be the one doing the Hustle in front of several hundred people?" Matt challenged him. Seeing the look of sheer terror on his face, Matt nodded, "I didn't think so. Keep it up though, and you'll be the one in a white polyester suit and platforms, buster."   
Changing the subject, Chris B. said, "Why don't you take Melanie as your partner, she likes to boogie."   
"Oh great," Matt said, rolling his eyes, "sounds good to me."  
"How long do we have to practice until the contest?" Matt asked. The Chris's looked sheepishly at each other, then turned back to Matt and Jeff. "One week."  
"One week!" Matt and Jeff exploded. "Are you guys certifiably nuts, that's not enough time for us to practice!" Jeff yelled to them.   
"Uh, it took us awhile to get up the courage to give you those tickets," Chris J. said, swallowing hard.   
"If we get through the embarrassment of this, we are going to kill you," Matt threatened, pointing his finger at the Chris's as he and Jeff walked away.  
  
Later that evening:  
Jeff and Nora were watching 'Saturday Night Fever,' with John Travolta.   
"Oh man, this movie sucks!" Jeff said, squeezing his forehead with his hands. "I've never seen someone act soo bad!"   
"Aw, I don't think he's that bad, he's kind of cute," Nora said, snuggling up to Jeff. "Ahh! Get away from me woman!" Horrified, he couldn't believe his girlfriend actually liked John Travolta's acting, not to mention she thought he was cute!   
"Look, why don't we try some of the dance steps," Nora said with a sigh, ignoring his outburst. She reached for his hands.   
  
At a Chinese restaurant:  
Matt watched as Amy hungrily dug into her sushi.   
"How can you eat that Red?" Matt asked her. Amy looked up at him, her cheeks puffed. She noticed his face was turning a light shade of olive green.   
"Honey," she coaxed, "it's actually really good. Try a bite." Reluctantly, he took a bite off her chopstick.   
"Hey, this is good," Matt said, a bright smile on his face.   
  
An hour later:  
Amy sat beside Matt, holding his hand, gently caressing it as he lay asleep in the hospital bed. Matt started to stir.   
Amy spoke softly to him, "Matt, how are you feeling honey?"  
"Pretty good, considering I just had my stomach pumped," he said with a groan. All of a sudden, Amy started crying.  
"Baby, it's okay, I'm alright," Matt said frantically, pushing her fiery hair back from her face. "It's not your fault."  
"I know, I'm not crying about that," Amy wailed, "it's about all the good food we missed out on!"  
"Aw geez!" Matt fell back on the bed, letting out a loud sigh. *This is going to be a long night.*  
Brring! "Aw geez," Jeff grumbled. He fumbled around, feeling for the phone. As he did, he twisted his body, hit Nora upside her head with his elbow, knocking her to the floor.   
"Hello?' Jeff mumbled into the phone as he heard a shriek come from the floor.   
"Uh Jeff, it's Matt," Matt said weakly.   
"Matt, you don't sound to good, what's wrong?" Jeff asked, sitting up straighter on the sofa.   
"I, uh, got food poisoning last night, and the doctor wants me to take it easy, so"...  
"What, that means you won't be able to be in the contest! First I have to watch John Travolta woodenly fumble through his role in "Saturday Night Fever" and now this."   
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked in exasperation.   
"What? Oh, never mind. How did you get food poisoning?" Jeff asked.  
"It's a long story. I'll tell you later, when Amy's not here. I bring up food, and it reminds here of what she lost," Matt said drolly. Jeff hung up the phone a minute later.  
"Well, Nora, it looks like we're going to have to find new partners. Nora?" Jeff questioned, a perplexed look on his face.   
"Down here," a groggy voice said. Jeff leaned over the edge of the sofa just in time to see a messy haired Nora bring her elbows up on the edge of the sofa.   
"What are you doing down there babe?" Jeff asked her, a puzzled look on his face.   
"Well, remember last night we danced so much, that we finally collapsed on the sofa, falling fast asleep?"  
"What's not to remember?" he gave her a "duh" look.   
"Well, if I recall correctly, just now, you hit me in the head with your elbow, knocking me off the sofa," she said in a huff.   
Jeff reached out to caress her cheek, "Oh, I'm sorry hon, I hadn't meant to"...   
"Humpff," Nora said standing up. "I'm never sleeping with you again!" Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Oh you know what I mean. At least not until we're married, and who knows how long that will be. Three years is a long time to wait you know!" Nora said as she stormed by him. *How much more do I have to hint for him to pop the question to me?* Nora thought with a sigh, closing the front door behind her. Jeff sighed, *I gotta fix things with Nora. Sheesh, I love that girl!*  
  
Later that day:   
Jeff went to a vintage clothing shop to look for seventies clothes: bell bottoms, platforms, the works. He was hoping Nora would go with him, but she coolly told him that she had shopping of her own to do. He knew she had vintage clothes to look for too, but normally she would drag him out shopping, which he was actually missing at the moment. His thoughts traveled back to the present when he saw a shining white disco suit, complete with matching polished, white platform shoes hanging in the window. The suit just screamed, "Take me home!", which is exactly what Jeff did. After he got home, he called the Chris's. Jericho refused to fill Matt's place, telling Jeff that Matt was probably faking it anyway. Jeff disagreed with Chris on that issue and said, "Fine, I'll call Chris #2 and see what he says." So, Jeff called Chris next and asked if he would fill in for Matt.  
Chris said, though a bit recluctantly, "Uh, sure, why not. Maybe Melanie won't mind going out- I mean going with me," Chris said nervously.   
"Oh, I'm sure Melanie won't mind out going with you, I think she likes you too man."  
"What! How'd you know?" he asked, surprised.   
"Oh, uh, sorry Chris, gotta go, reruns of "American Bandstand" are coming on- have to practice my moves."   
Jeff settled in for watching two hours worth of "American Bandstand", then he had one more shopping trip to make.   
  
In the dressing room, 30 minutes before the dance contest:  
"What do you think?" Jeff came out to stand in front of Matt.   
"My eyes, oh my eyes!" Grinning, Matt pulled his arm away from his face.   
"Honestly Jeff, it is a little bright," Matt said with a frown as he looked at the brilliant neon blues, greens, and reds splashed all over the spiffy disco suit. "Did you buy it like that?" Matt asked.  
"Heck no, they don't come this way, I did it myself!" Jeff said proudly.   
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Matt said slowly.   
"You look great Junior, it even matches your hair," Chris said with grin as he strode into the room.   
"See, at least someone appreciates my work," Jeff said indignantly.   
"I didn't say I didn't like it, it's just- different. You'll definitely stand out," Matt said defensively.  
"Holy cow, what did you do to the suit?" Chris Benoit asked in shock, his mouth hanging open. "I can see the glare from outside the hallway."   
"I dyed it, spray painted it as a matter of fact," Jeff said grinning broadly.   
"You ruined the suit Jeff, it's supposed to be white, that's the traditional color," Chris B. said. Groaning, he put his head in his hands.   
"That's fine if you like yours white, but I like mine bright," Jeff said pointedly. Just then they heard soft disco music come on in the auditorium.   
"That's your cue guys, good luck," Matt said, giving them the guns.   
Chris J. rolled his eyes, "Must you do that every time your not in the ring?" he said drolly to Matt.   
Matt hit Chris in the back of the head with his hand, "Put a sock in it Chris, you carry your Junior phrase with you wherever you go," they argued as they left the dressing room. Chris B. and Jeff rolled their eyes and shook their heads, "Some things never change," they commented.   
Chris Benoit and Melanie went first. Melanie was dressed in a red, off- the-shoulder fringed dress. As Chris led Melanie out to the dance floor, he said admiringly, "You look great Melanie." She blushed as red as her dress, "Thanks, you too," she said with a smile. They heard the music of Disco Duck infiltrate the arena, just as the disco ball came on. *Now, I feel at home,* Chris thought to himself with a smile as he began to twirl Melanie around the dance floor. He and Melanie stopped suddenly as Disco Duck ended, and Stayin Alive began. Chris put his hands on his hips, swiveling them. He grabbed Melanie around the waist, raising her above his head. After he released her, they started doing the Hustle side-by-side. Chris twirled Melanie away from him, still holding onto her hand, then pulled her back, his arms wrapping around her waist, as he pulled her tightly to him. Their faces were mere inches away from each other. As the music stopped, the audience roared in applause, but Chris and Melanie didn't notice, both looking into each other's eyes, breathing heavily.   
"Wow, I didn't realize you were that good!" Melanie breathed.   
"Well, I, well I used to do a lot of dancing when I was younger," he said, slightly embarrassed, his own a face a little red.   
"It shows," Melanie said appreciatively.   
Their spell was broken by the announcer as she kindly asked them to leave the dance floor so the next contestants could begin. Jeff led Nora out onto the dance floor.   
"Jeff, you certainly stand out," Nora said, holding back a giggle. He frowned. "Don't worry, you look great. I love you for just being you, don't ever change," Nora reassured him.   
Jeff was relieved, this helped break up some of the tension, especially for what he had planned for later. Jeff looked at her aqua-blue sequined pants outfit. The hip hugging bell bottoms looked good on her. The sleeves only went over one shoulder, while the other one went just under her armpit. Very seventies indeed.   
"You look great Nora, I think it was a good idea to not let us see each other's outfits until the contest."   
"So do I and thanks," she said, smiling brightly.   
The first song that came on was Abba's Dancing Queen. *Oh I hate this song, why couldn't they have done a Dancing King,* Jeff thought with a frown. Nora and Jeff danced round-n-round the dance floor until finally they came to a stop in the middle of the floor. Nora and Jeff also started doing the Hustle as KC and The Sunshine Band's song, That's the Way I Like it, started to play. Instead of doing the dance side-by-side like Melanie and Chris, they did it one behind the other. Jeff turned around, grasped Nora around the waist and pulled her in front of him. Nora wrapped her arms around his neck while he gently pulled her along. Then they stopped suddenly, and Jeff started spinning on his head.   
"Jeff what are you doing?" Nora whispered, a confused look on her face.   
In the audience seats Matt leaned forward in his chair, "Aw, geez, Jeff what are you doing," Matt hissed, hitting the palm of his hand against his forehead. Almost as if Jeff heard Matt, he stopped in the middle of his breakdance and stood up awkwardly. The audience, who had been clapping and cheering wildly just seconds ago, were now silent and staring at the two dancers in the middle of the floor. Acting as if it never happened, Jeff grabbed Nora by the hands, slid her under him and quickly he twisted around, grabbed her by the hands and pulled her back around to face him, where he dipped her. The spotlight shone on them and then the audience clapped wildly as they're song ended.   
"Marry me?" Jeff asked.   
"Wh, what?" Nora asked, not believing her ears.   
He brought her up, released Nora and went down on bended knee, "Nora Greenwald, would you do the honor of marrying me?" She looked into his earnest, green eyes, wrapped her arms around his neck and cried, "Yes, oh yes I'll marry you!" They walked off the dance floor hand-n-hand, a glittering pearl and sapphire ring sparkling on her finger.   
"I can't believe you just did that!" Matt said excitedly. "Congratulations bro," a wide grin splitting his face.   
"Which one, breakdance on my head or ask Nora to marry me," he said, a quirky grin splitting his face.   
"Oh my gosh! Congratulations Nora!" Amy and Melanie said simultaneously, both girls giving her a hug.   
"Way to go Junior," Jericho said clapping Jeff on the back. Chris B. just gave Jeff a mostly toothy grin.   
They watched the rest of the contestants perform and they were all very good. Jeff expected Chris and Melanie to win though, they looked so natural out there on the dance floor. Finally, the announcer took an envelope from the judges and opened it.   
"Normally, we only have one winner, but this year we have a tie. The winners are Chris Benoit and Melanie Wilson, Jeff Hardy and Nora Greenwald. The audience stood up in their seats, clapping loudly.   
"Way to go Jeff!" Matt yelled out, as the two teams walked to the announcers podium. Both teams were given huge gold trophies. The peroxide blond announcer leaned forward towards Jeff and winked, "That was a very interesting performance you put on ouy there."   
"Oh, well".. Jeff blushed, staring at the floor and shuffling his feet.   
"Excuse me," Nora said sweetly through gritted teeth, "we need to be going." Nora grabbed Jeff's hand, making sure the announcer saw the engagement ring resting on her finger. She smiled brightly as she watched the announcer's eyes bug out of her head.   
The group of friends pushed the side exit door open, walking out into the bright sunshine.  
"Let me get a closer look at that ring," Amy said excitedly, reaching for Nora's hand. There was a big pearl in the center surrounded by four smaller sapphires. "Oh it's beautiful!" Amy breathed. "I'm so happy for you!" Amy congratulated her, giving Nora another hug.  
"You know maybe we should put the wedding off for another year," Jeff said thoughtfully.  
"Oh, no buster, I've waited long enough just for you to ask me to marry"... Jeff cut her off, gently pressing his lips to hers. Smiling, he stopped, and murmured against her lips, "Gotcha."  
  
  
  
  



End file.
